Toddlers Don’t Ostracize
Personal story: my daughter and I were coming home on the bus today from the craft store - we were looking for some new yarn colours for another crocheting project for a friend’s new place. After we went past the hospital where she was born, one that offers a wonderful eating disorders program as well as the reproductive psychiatry program that I participated in, a woman and her companion got on the bus.
I’m assuming that the woman was an inpatient of the program, out on a day-trip. She was severely anorexic. So thin that her ocular cavities stood out from her face. She was a little taller than me and I’d say I outweigh her by 25 pounds. She spoke with a tiny voice to her friend, looking downward most of the time. The lanugo covered most visible surfaces. She was advanced, extreme and I’m guessing an eyesore to every other person on the bus who avoided looking at her.
I glanced her way a number of times, hoping for the chance to smile at her - to show her that I didn’t think she was worthy of dismissal or to be invisible (whether it was her intention to be, or not), but she didn’t meet my eyes until a few minutes into our bus ride. Why?
Because my wonderful daughter, nearly 13 months, who is outrageously social most of the time, leaned as far out of her stroller as she could towards the woman, hung her head backwards as if upside-down and gave her a thousand watt smile. The woman was obviously caught off guard and looked to me, as if for an explanation. Zoë tried again to engage the woman and while in the same position, did a little finger-curling wave. Then the woman gave a little half smile, barely discernible and Zoë laughed.
So did the woman. It was small, but it sounded like a form of joy to me. Toddlers are amazing individuals. They don’t judge or show hatred. Or even tension around people who may be construed as problematic by us, apparently higher, adults. They are incredibly intuitive and in those situations sometimes, they just share themselves.
August 22nd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Awww, what a sweet story!
August 22nd, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Your baby is fabulous!
August 23rd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Wonderful story - what a sweetie!