Site Meter Eating Disorder Talk » Blog Archive » Sept Choses de Moi

Sept Choses de Moi

by Terra Atrill

I was tagged by Bryan, so here’s where I start to open up…and since this is Eating Disorder Talk, I’ll let you know seven odd things about me, in appropriate reference.

    1. The sterotype of the perfectionistic anorexic has never fit me. Well, not really, since I’d just as soon quit something that I couldn’t do perfectly than fail at perfection. Apparently, quitters never win.
    1. I actively sought out my eating disorder, pooring through diet and fitness magazines and reading The Golden Cage at seven years old. I was a chubby kid who got picked on a lot, being raised by a father who used to get picked on for being too skinny. I was caught between wanting attention and wanting to disappear.
    1. I’ve only resorted to bulimic behaviour when I felt cornered. If I had to eat a meal with someone who would be aware that I had an eating disorder and it would be rude, untoward or just generally too attention-getting to skip it, out came the pills, laxatives, running water and me being trapped either on or over the porcelain bowl.
    1. I can think, in the time it took me to wrote those first three words, of at least eight people who have or currently are suffering from one of the eating disorders or an EDNOS. Four of those eight are family.
    1. I am torn between wanting the best for my daughter, namely for her to not have to sit back after 20 years and ask herself what she’s gotten, and wanting what will be easiest. I know it’s in my family’s genes to be a little…rotund during childhood. But the simple facts that kids are mean and little girls are being diagnosed with eating disorders earlier and in larger numbers scares me almost to death. So what? Do I keep her healthy and slim, so she can bypass the whole corrective diet leading to disorder thing that I have gone through? Or do I simply try to teach her to love herself, regardless of size or weight and cross my fingers?
    1. I have always measured my success based on how far my hipbones protruded and how close to a nervous breakdown I was. Right now, I’m not very successful.
    1. The day I was diagnosed as hypoglycemic due to long-term anorexia, I ate chocolate mousse and strawberries and then passed out 20 minutes later while cutting across a highway. The drivers…they honked.
    1. I was not supposed to be able to have my daughter, in large part due to my history of rapidly cycling through weights, having and then not having periods and an apparently ridiculously low estrogen level. I think of her as my miracle baby.

  • 3 Responses to “Sept Choses de Moi”

    1. bryan Says:

      thank you for sharing. My wife is not what the media would call slim. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She is the most remarkable when she is happy with herself.

    2. Eating Disorder Talk » Blog Archive » Post Secret Shouldn’t Be a Secret Says:

      [...] I’ve written in the past of my concern over my eating disorder, whether teetering in recovery or not, having such an affect on my daughter [...]

    3. helene Says:

      ohh…nice post but really?/? :P

    Leave a Reply


    About Eating Disorder Talk

    The goal of Eating Disorder Talk is to encourage family and friends of people living with disordered eating - as well as sufferers - to learn more about the conditions, where to get help, the risks associated and another vessel of communication. I come with 20 years of experience living with (and sometimes for) anorexia; my job is not to cure, it’s to allow others to speak. This means wanting to help those that want help and to provide a voice to those who don’t.

    Eating Disorder Talk Author(s)
        » Jenna-Kantor

    Blogging Flair

    button.GIF

    Science & Health Channel Posts

    • Withdrawing from medication
      You know, as I mentioned in a previous post, I have seen some real crazy doctors.  And, had I been as smart man years ago to know that they not only don’t know everything, they also don’t [...]
    • Is their Relief when Eating Healthy?
      There comes a huge sense of relief when I am eating natural foods like fruits and vegetables. I don't question what I am putting into my body because it is all natural. If I had the money, I would [...]
    • JM One - Craving Zero
      Things have been going great for me over the past month and a half or so. I’m finally seeing weight loss, I’m feeling better about myself, I’m actually happy to exercise… So far, so [...]
    • Just Say No
      I just read an article that suggested that how we think determines our success with weight loss. I couldn’t agree more. It also went on to say that it’s in our best interest to eliminate an all [...]
    • Halfway Through
      Wow. Half way through 2009 already. Well, I don't feel particularly mystified about where the time has gone, it is interesting to think about how we're half way through another year. Have goals [...]
    • Giving Up Junk Food Day
      This is a big step for me. I have been allowing myself to eat junk food once per week and my weight is maintaining because of it. I want to lose 6 pounds. For me to do it, I have to let go of my junk [...]
    • Summer Beach Reading Giveaway Ending Soon!
      Heading to the beach with nothing to read? Now you can head out in style with a book from one (or more!) of your favorite authors! Pump Up Your Book Promotion is hosting our very first Summer [...]
    • Sugar Drinks
      I have been using sugar drinks like mochas as a way to keep me away from all the crappy food I have been craving. Does this keep my weight down? I don't think so. There are still tons of calories in [...]
    • Recipe: Cheesy White Bean Hummus with Nutritional Yeast
      Ever since discovering nutritional yeast, I have been trying to find more ways to use it. If you are not familiar with it, nutritional yeast comes as yellow flakes or a powder and has a cheesy [...]
    • Heart Health
      Everyone knows that working out is good for your body. However, do you really understand the correlation between aerobics and heart health? Thankfully many people are aware that doing aerobics is one [...]

    Hot Off The Press

    • Becoming Medieval
      I'm in a medieval mood, mostly because I'm reading a delightful manuscript by Felicity Pulman. Just wait til it gets published, then you, too, can be in medieval mode. Or... maybe you don't [...]
    • Little things
      There are a lot of things that suck about being a part time dad. Not having him here all the time. Going half days on holidays and birthdays. The big stuff that you think about when seperated parents [...]
    • 4TH OF JULY REMEMBRANCES
      Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, Independance Day here in the U.S., and I thought it only appropriate to spend a few minutes thinking about the price paid for our "freedom". Have you ever [...]
    • Friday Fill-Ins 131
      Wow, talk about a stressful day. I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't Friday as well. Maybe declare some sort of holiday or take a sick day... Wow. So glad it's Friday! And...here we [...]
    • Out Of Key T-Shirt
      Whacked. Not like, "This shirt is whack." Whacked like Tony Soprano whacked. $17 Buy [...]
    • New Spin Cycle: Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Jim Cornette, Don West
      JB is back with the latest edition of "TNA Spin Cycle", featuring Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Jim Cornette and Don West. [...]
    • Clip of the Week
      This week's clip comes from Guiding Light. It is a clip from the Bauer BBQ of Danny and Michelle getting married. [...]
    • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Chapter Twenty-Eight Wrap Up
      Chapter Twenty-Eight of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is called "Flight of the Prince." Snape rushes the Death Eaters out of the tower after the killing Dumbledore. Harry soon realizes [...]
    • The new Radar Video!
      Here's the new music video for the single "Radar"! It's not like her others - there's a notable lack of dancing and tight choreography, but it takes us on different type of journey through telling a [...]
    • Volleyball's Schlagintweit and Meek selected to Senior Canadian Volleyball roster
      After two weeks of intensive training following the selection camp held last month, the roster for the Senior Women's National Team has been determined. Nineteen players have been selected by Head [...]