Other People …
despite their good intentions, just do not understand eating disorders. If you don’t have a problem with food, I understand how it would be hard to comprehend how a person could “fall into a binge.”
This afternoon, some lovely new friends of mine gave me their strong thoughts and opinions about my eating disorder with the idea of “just don’t do it.” I thanked for the input, but hearing it only made me want to cry. I felt very ashamed of myself. My terrible binges. The fact that I am still praying to be normal around food - I felt like an idiot. Even if that was not the intention, that is how I felt.
The worse thing is - I binged last night and I feel super ashamed and awful about it. Ironically, instead of talking to an actual person about it, I am telling people online. … and I feel so ashamed. It is only 7:49pm and I want to go to bed because I feel so weak about myself.
In reaction to the last binge, I have been over exercising and I plan to do more of it tomorrow on my day off.
It is what it is … and I am feeling pretty ashamed and crappy about myself right now.
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