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I’m Scared

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Here’s the deal - I have been having Sunday as my junk food day. Starting tomorrow, it is ending. Instead of the entire day being full of junk food, it is going to be only in the evening. It is one meal of junk food. With that in mind, I am scared. What if it doesn’t work with my brain? I will still be getting some junk in my week, but it will be a lot less. I do not want it to give myself a reason to jump into junk. Honestly, I don’t believe it will. If anything, tonight and tomorrow are the hardest parts. I have loved the ability to eat all the junk. In fact, for the last few Saturdays, I have not slept well because I get so excited about the junk I have coming to me. So, it’s not the day after my junk dinner, it’s these moments before. It’s the now. That is what scares me. I think I will lock myself in my room tonight. Literally. I will not let myself eat my fruit breakfast until 8am (the earliest). Even if I am awake in bed, food will not be an option. Period. Okay, I am giving it to G-d now. This is a healthier change for my body. I know I am making the right choice. The adjustment is scary, but I will get through it and love this new routine.
Scary!


Posted in General on May 30th, 2009

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About Eating Disorder Talk

The goal of Eating Disorder Talk is to encourage family and friends of people living with disordered eating - as well as sufferers - to learn more about the conditions, where to get help, the risks associated and another vessel of communication. I come with 20 years of experience living with (and sometimes for) anorexia; my job is not to cure, it’s to allow others to speak. This means wanting to help those that want help and to provide a voice to those who don’t.

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