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I am Obsessive Right Now

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My acid reflux acted up and it is all my fault. Last week, I had caffeine every single day. I know caffeine is truly poison for my body and wakes up all the acid in my body. I ignored the consequences and had caffeine anyhow because I loved the taste. I know, I know it was dumb of me.
Now, I am finding myself totally obsessing about what I ate today to take care of my body. When my acid reflux gets really bad like it just did, I have to eat a lot more bread and crackers. I don’t like eating that much grain in a single day and I automatically feel like a fat slob after I have digested all the crappy food. … I know it’s not a huge deal to others, but for me, I don’t like it. I do not like feeling fat. I was looking in the mirror and absolutely hating my body. It sucked major balls - seeing my ugly reflection in the mirror.
I think if I weighed myself, I would feel so much better … would I? It would be good to know the weight I am at - I have not weighed myself in awhile, so I think it will actually be a very good idea to learn about my current weight.

Man, I just get it out of my mind. I was feeling great about myself last week and now, with this change in eating, I am obsessing. I want it to stop! I want to love how I look!


Posted in General on May 13th, 2009

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About Eating Disorder Talk

The goal of Eating Disorder Talk is to encourage family and friends of people living with disordered eating - as well as sufferers - to learn more about the conditions, where to get help, the risks associated and another vessel of communication. I come with 20 years of experience living with (and sometimes for) anorexia; my job is not to cure, it’s to allow others to speak. This means wanting to help those that want help and to provide a voice to those who don’t.

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