Eating Disorder Talk

I have to put this on the table. I don’t think I could ever starve myself. I am to obsessed with food to have the ability to let it go. To be really honest, I wish I had the strength to not eat. I know that sounds so horrible, but I find it impressive.
In the video above, I am brought to tears when I hear the girl speak of her fear of gaining weight after she learns she will not be able to have any diet food while she stays at the clinic. I agree and relate with her feelings. I would feel exactly the same way. Weight gain is a huge fear of mine. If I didn’t have control over the food I was eating, I would freak.
However, if that fish was sitting in front of me, I would have eaten it without hesitation. It’s hard for me to turn down food with it sitting in front of me. However, I did notice there was a cream sauce on it - not necessarily a healthy thing. That would not make me happy and only get my head spinning.
It scares me how much I can relate to the girl in the video. I wish I could cry with her and hug her.