Crazy Cravings
Man, today has been absolutely insane! I wanted to dive in the food in so many instances. I have been using hot chocolate as a way to keep myself away from jumping into a binge. I am not fond of having the hot chocolate, but for now, it has helped. If I have any bite of the junk food right now, I will jump right into a horrible binge and come back being twice my size. I am not joking and I am not exaggerating. I don’t know when it would end. I called a friend to talk about my mental struggle and that really helped. It totally helps to talk about it. It forces me to make it more real and less of a denial thing. If I go into a denial thing, I become even more sensitive and more easily fall into this ferocious eating frenzy. I know many of you relate to this.
I still have the Sedona Method, but on a day like today, I didn’t want to pull out the papers and do any of the exercises. I lost my desire to put in that kind of effort. Instead, I wanted to just face it head on.
Really, when I think about it, my food addict had taken over and didn’t want to stay away from the food. It is amazing how my food addict brain can really take over things. It is a true nightmare.
So, I am exhausted. I am about to start my period. Those two things alone make me very vulnerable to wanting to binge. Both of them together - NIGHTMARE.
It’s okay. I am at the point in the day where I feel very good. I know I have no desire to jump into the food. That feels very good. I am at a place of confidence where I can just go to bed and wake up tomorrow knowing that G-d took care of me and helped me through a challenging food day.
July 6th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
on the net for articles which can support me. Thank you